Day 2

Okay. The last few days have been moderatly irritating. I went out with my foreign guy last night. That was pretty kool. Only, this morning when i got on my messenger i found out that my boy from school wanted to break up with me. Okay,. no problem I mean I have not seen the guy since school it only makes sense right? Now, my mom invited some sixteen year old guy over that I have never met before, but here is where the drama starts. His dad is in prison and has been mailing my mom letters tlaking about hooking up. I DON"T WANT ANYMORE SIBLINGS!!!! My mom is not even through her divorce yet and she is talking about this guy moving in with us. My girlfriend is still ignoring me and she has no minutes on her phone and mom can't take me to see her because the van is not working and it blew the starter off down the road at the gas station where she had to catch a ride home from a total stranger btw. But other than that everything has been cool. I'm tired though..... i'll come back and rant later.

Discrimination. This goes to the HATAS out there.

I know, you have all probably heard it. The lovely words "queer, fag, dyke, butch" and other new names they come up with daily. I have been called everything from switch hitter to rug muncher. It is getting old. If you do not like someone because of their preferences too bad!! Deal with it. It is called life. So people happen to have enough of one to be able to comprehend what your feeble mind cannot seem to grasp. There are more important things to do than sit around making fun of others because they are different. I am not talking about everyone. Just the rude , inconsiderate people who insist on tormenting others. It needs to stop. There is no point in it and it only serves to hurt people. but in the end, it will only hurt you. People will realize what a creep you are and they will not want to be around you anymore. So, go ahead, keep it up. Karma is waiting for you my friend. It's a B*&%$ trust me.

Day 1

Okay. Today is the first day i have ever tried this "blogging" thing. But, it looks pretty alright so here goes. My world is so twisted right now. I have a foreign boyfriend. Yeah, he's hot. That's a plus... but here goes the downfall, he does not speak very good english. Not to mention he is older than me by a good bit. My girlfriend has a disease, she's just really messed up right now. But, she is trying to put it off on my boyfriends cousin (who has only seen her 3x's!!!) even though she sleeps with over 1/2 of everyone she meets. I am there for her, but only emotionally. There is no way i am getting a disease like that. To top that all off, a detective called my house the other day asking about her and where he lives and all this b.s. WTF??!!?? Apparently, she went to the hospital and they saw that she was underaged messing around with older boys. Try about 13 years older than her. Yeah, drama. And, i can't go more than a week without having a period. My last one lasted two weeks!! And, now guess what? Three days later i am on it again. I dropped my birth control. It was making me gain weight bad, so i made a friend take it away. That was a few days ago, so it might have something to do with the change. I have another problem, but only slight. I have another boyfriend. I never see him though, i only i.m him. He probably has someone else. I feel really bad about that, but i don't want to hurt him, and i think i am falling for my foreign guy. He tells me he loves me in spanish and he was my first. I slipped the other night though.. and i cutt. It has been months since i last did it but now my inner thigh has three fresh marks on it...... he saw the last night ... i told him it was an accident which was stupid because it is clear that that was not an accident. I did not want to say anything to him though. It is embarrasing and it makes me feel so small inside but for me it has become a way of dealing. I am hoping that this can be my new way. At least then i won't have scars. I don't know what to do. I should break-up with my i.m. guy but then again i still have feelings for him even though it is wrong for me to treat him like this. My foreign guy comes every other day, we are learning each others languages. I get the newfound joys of espanol and he gets english. Today he will not come over, yesterday was his day. He left his dictionary and coursebook at my house though, so maybe he will after he gets off work. I'm going to go work on my profile. see ya.